She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize