But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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