JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
