ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
