North Korea, Best Korea!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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