Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
