broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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