just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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