glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
