Ambien. No doubt about it.
I want to make a zoo with you.
It's Friday. Sex?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
