in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
