Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
