Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
