and she was petting her beer can
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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