wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
