i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
