Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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