Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
