great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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