when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
