I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
