i barfeds in our rink
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
A+ Viking dick
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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