My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
