i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
