he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
