why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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