i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
