Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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