i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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