Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
