Best friends brother. Beat that.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
