When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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