hotel room ftw
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She told me I should be a condom model.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
