Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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