Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
