just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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