that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
