I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
