i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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