using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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