we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
