He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
