I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
