those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
