dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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