We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
