Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
