tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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