I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
