someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
