if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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