Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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