I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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